The Chicken or the Meg

Write-up by Gerry McDonnell

Existence is full of little contradictions. When a expert gambler outlets all around for value, he’s lauded for his shrewdness. But when I utilize a comparable degree of financial prudence exterior of the betting arena, I’m thought to be meaner than a premenstrual Scot with a toothache.

I’m not ashamed to say that I use the very same tactic with my buying finances as I do with my betting bank. Why should I pay 60p for ‘brand name’ biscuits when I can acquire an virtually identical packet for 15p? Admittedly, the cheapskate biscuits crumble at the merest touch, but I can let this small flaw pass, as it is mainly the kids who try to eat them.

The little ones are always on my again to boost my fitness ranges. They’re fairly major. My frugal nature led me to scoff at losing £200 on a health club membership following all, I’ve received a bicycle at house.

My affordable acumen did lead to really an embarrassing combine-up. I was feeling a small peckish following a long stint on the physical exercise bike, so I made the decision to snack on a handful of of the tightwad biscuits. This adequately explains how the spouse located me breathing seriously whilst furiously stroking the crumbs off my lap.

Lawrie Sanchez has also been on the finish of a comical misunderstanding. The Fulham manager loves to signal Irish players, so when he heard of the crisis engulfing Chelsea, he created a cheeky bid to indication O’Bramovich.

The Chelsea squad are on the verge of mutiny as a outcome of their difficult-to-make sure you operator. Extra fat Frank, the Drog, Malouda: they’re all revolting.

Some of the players had been in tears when Jose left, though Ashley Cole’s emotional state may be a consequence of Liza Minnelli’s tour drawing to a near. The two/5 for a Chelsea win about Fulham has sent me toppling over the edge.

Michael Owen has the moment yet again been sidelined by means of injury. The King of the Castle has been ruled out with a double hernia: it started off off as a single but he was feeling lucky. I’ll have a minor punt on the draw amongst Manchester City and Newcastle at 23/10.

Robbie Savage has frequently been in contrast to Roy Keane. Regrettably, the expression ‘a very poor man’ usually plays a substantial purpose. The 7/4 for a Sunderland win over Blackburn can assist alleviate poverty among the betting courses.

Unless of course Fernando Torres shares the wife’s scarce healthcare condition in which bodily exercise is only permitted the moment a week, he has to commence from Wigan. I’ll happily again Liverpool at four/six if Torres starts: if he’s on the bench, I’ll lay it like it was Meg White.

Studying left it late to land a touch from Wigan final week. With two minutes to go, I was sweating like Prince Charles on Father’s Day. These Royals are fairly useful they can depart Portsmouth with a level at five/2.

They say that great points arrive in tiny offers, and that’s an adage to which I am compelled to subscribe. Cesc Fabregas might be diminutive in stature, but he’s a true large on the football pitch. Arsene has set the tiny man on fire, he’ll inspire Arsenal to a victory over West Ham at ten/11.

Whilst Cesc is banging the targets in for fun, Andy Johnson would struggle to score at a Ronaldo property-celebration. I’m loving the 5/2 for a draw among Everton and Middlesbrough.

Steve Bruce is truly looking forward to the visit of Manchester United. It’s not a outcome of his Outdated Trafford ties, he just desires to stand up coming to Carlos Tevez and not be thought to be the ugly one. The 4/seven for a Manchester United win about the Blues is absolutely beautiful.

I am absolutely concerned about this bluetongue virus. Apparently, it is transmitted by midges, so I’m steering well distinct of Sammy Lee. Bolton are worth a little bet at seven/4 against Derby.

Martin Jol seems to have lost the plot. I wouldn’t treat a puppy the way Jol has handled Jermain Defoe, especially as she failed to swallow my biscuit story. Aston Villa will leave the Lane with a position at nine/four.

I’m positive the spouse has shared her outrageous idea on ‘biscuitgate’ with her mom. I’ve been a nervous wreck because the incident I just haven’t been feeling myself. Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United and an Everton draw form a 14/one weekend accer that will hopefully lift my flagging spirits.

About the Writer

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.